Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Intro to American Politics 101: U.S. Elections 2004

This is one of those agonizing postings to my blog I don’t want to really do but I feel somehow that I have to do it ‘cause everybody’s talking about it and most people have no idea whatsoever about the subjects but they feel they have to say something anyway even though what comes out of their mouths most times is totally GARBAGE irregardless of their political leanings and preferences.

What am I talking about? The U.S. Elections 2004, that’s what!! Personally, I am sick of hearing about it and I don’t necessarily want to see this subject on Jewels in the Jungle. However, being a true-blue red-blooded American citizen whose family has heaps of history and a fascinating heritage in the good old U.S. of A. it would be unpatriotic if I didn’t say something on this subject. So here goes:

LESSON NR. 1:

Never say never. What is done is done and the best thing to do is to get over it and move on. All of that expert commentary, opinions, analysis, tea leaves and crystal ball predictions, polls, live T.V. coverage by 10 million journalists from all over the world, foreign air mail voter manipulation and harassment from our “concerned cousins” in the U.K., jumping up and down at conventions and rallies waving flags and wearing stupid looking T-shirts and hats and campaign buttons and laughing and crying and literally making a damn fool of yourselves on international T.V., not to mention threats of foreign invasion and economic boycotts and breaking of diplomatic ties and all kinds of other B.S. from our long-time traditional allies and partners” overseas (many by the way who were our “mortal enemies” just a few years or generations ago but that’s a long time in most people’s minds due to chronic memory problems) ….. all of this stuff didn’t amount to more than a hill of beans. If you were against G.W. Bush, you lost. Period. BUSH IS BACK AND THAT’S THAT. If you need some consoling or something, see my links in LESSON NR. 2 below.

As a matter of fact, he never left and he is "startin’ to take a likening to Washington D.C." as they say down in my part of the country, The Heartland. Now the problem for a lot of people who have no idea about America or Americans (this includes an awful lot of U.S. citizens by the way), the problem with all of these folks is that they don’t understand the term “Heartland” nor do they respect or understand the millions of Americans who hail from these parts. Most people around the world cannot even find the place on a map including a whole lot of so-called experts on America.

So to answer that pressing question I get here in Europe from far too many absolute strange people who say they have a “genuine concern about the United States of America" since the first day I got here to help save their disgusting butts from political and military catastrophe years and years ago, that question which goes something like this:

By the way, what do you think about the results of the U.S. Elections 2004 and the re-election of President George W. Bush?”

My answer often time is like this:

Nothing, it’s over, we have another President. Why, you don’t like it or something? You’ve got something to say about it? You from the States, pay taxes over there or something, have sons and daughters dying on foreign battlefields in U.S. uniforms? No? Who is your president? What is your government doing to “save the world”? Oh really, I don’t believe you because the facts and evidence shows that your leaders aren’t doing Squat to help anyone other than themselves. Don’t leave, what is it, have I insulted you or something? Good, because that is what I intended to do. Goodbye and don’t come back!

Now if I like you and think that you are really intelligent and well informed on global issues including those which affect Americans as well as the rest of the world and you are the type of person with which one can have a good dialogue on politics I might answer in this way:

The American Elections for 2004, interesting wasn’t it? Looks like Bush and the Republicans just fooled all of the experts, must’ve have really pissed a lot of people off. Actually as a rule I almost never discuss who I actually voted for, but I am more than willing to discuss issues with you. Where you from? Oh, I’m from _______”

LESSON NR. 2

Before you open your mouth, make sure that your brain is engaged. American politics is really complicated. Politics anywhere is usually complicated unless you live in a country where decisions are made for the people vs. by the people. I would guess that most people in the world have never had the opportunity to vote, although I believe that all people of the world have the Right To Vote. A lot of government and business leaders in foreign lands making all of this racket about the U.S. Elections are working very hard to make sure that their people CANNOT VOTE.


I personally use various sources of information from broadcast media, the Internet, real experts on political issues (a rarity), and even my own gut feelings to help me determine who should be the President or Senator or Congresswoman/man for my country or home state. This is particularly important when you have lived abroad amongst absolute savages (albeit well dressed savages) here in Europe as long as I have___ which is too long by the way, way too long.

Here are a few of my favorite info resources for the recent U.S. elections:

1. CNN U.S. Election 2004 Coverage
2. BBC U.S. Election 2004 - Don’t miss their Guide to U.S. Government.
3. Internet Public Library - Online news sources from around the world.
4. My Mom - She says she "hates Bush" by the way, although she is trying to be a good Christian. Don't arrest her Mr. Ashcroft, she doesn't mean it. Mom is just highly emotional about politics.
5. Priorities & Frivolities - Tagoda is at the John F. Kennedy School of Government - Harvard University. You can learn a lot about U.S. politics if you spend some time on his blog. I think he is a progressive Republican with immigrant roots in the Phillipines.
6. Cox & Forkum Editorial Cartoons - This is a good place when you begin to take politics and yourself too seriously. Everybody needs a good laugh now and then.
7. German media and press - I occasionally checkout these news sources in order to keep up with the well-oiled propoganda machines the Austro-Germans perfected years ago. These guys are good and much of the German-speaking public doesn’t notice a thing. I hope that somebody in the U.S.A. is analyzing these sources in order to help us ammend foreign policy strategies for the 21st century and beyond.
8. The African Viewpoint - Interesting and diverse views from Africans. Also checkout various news and commentaries expressed on AllAfrica.com.
9. Barack Obama - I have yet to see any coverage of this story in the German media. Here are two articles from the BBC and CNNI. Obama is a Big Story and I’m delighted for his win in Illinois.

10. The Blogoshpere - Technorati's Election Watch 2004 lists the top political blogs on the U.S. Elections. The Berkman Center at Harvard is a good place to track politics and blogging as well. Blogger of course covered the effects of blogging on the U.S. Elections 2004 in their posting Blog The Vote.


LESSON NR. 3

No matter how the election turns out, whether your candidate(s) have won or not, it is very important that afterwards everybody just calms down. Go home and do some reflecting or go out with your pals and have a celebration or cry in your beer or whatever makes you happy. Then wake up the next day and go about your business. Here are a few more tips for those of you feeling low about the results of the U.S. Election 2004:

1. IT IS EXTEMELY IMPORTANT THAT EVERYONE WORKS TOGETHER AS ONE NATION, AS ONE PEOPLE, FOCUSED ON HELPING ONE ANOTHER AND HELPING PEOPLE WHO ARE IN EVEN WORSE SHAPE THAN YOU ARE OUT THERE IN THE WORLD. THIS IS VERY, VERY, VERY IMPORTANT!

2. DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT GO NEXT DOOR AND BURN DOWN YOUR NEIGHBORS HOUSE BECAUSE THEY VOTED DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU. If you want to burn something down, then burn up your own stuff, or burn yourself in effigy or something. Make sure you leave a note to save the taypayers money on police investigation costs.

3. DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT GO OUT THREATENING PEOPLE WITH VIOLENCE AND REVENGE AND ALL KINDS OF OTHER STUPID STUFF. ESPECIALLY DO NOT THREATEN TEXANS IN ANY KIND OF WAY. "DON’T MESS WITH TEXAS!" GOES THE SAYING BACK HOME IN THE STATES AND BELIEVE ME, TEXANS MEAN THIS. EVERYBODY IN AMERICA UNDERSTANDS THIS AND YOU HAD BETTER UNDERSTAND THIS TOO. DON’T PISS THESE FOLKS OFF!

IN SUMMARY:

Find something you like to do which helps you to relax. Focus on what your nation needs to be doing and make sure that you are part of the solution and not part of the problem. Go out and do something other than "running your mouth like a clatterbone on a Goose’s rearend" as my Grandma used to say, God Bless Her Soul. Make the American Dream work, and the dreams of your own respective country work and those of people who can still dream all over the world. Make it work by getting your butt to work on their behalf.

So, that is the end of the first part of the course "Introduction to American Politics 101".

Next time I will cover the 2nd part of this course,

How to Politely Reject Foreign Influences on National Political Matters Without Losing Your Temper, Your Mind, and/or Your Religious Upbringing and Beliefs”.

Thank you and Good Night.


1 comment:

Black River Eagle said...

Update for November 10, 2004:

I decided to make a few edits to yesterday's posting and drop acrimonious references to our "allies" in Europe, specifically to (only a few of) the Germans.

Therefore, you will no longer find words in my posting about the U.S. Elections 2004 like "Hitler" or "heathens" as the use of these words may incite severe stress syndrome relapses in people or even worse unleash "German SPAM"! Also it is not very professional or nice to talk like that on this blog.

So, I'm sorry if you were unfortunate enough to read yesterday's unedited posting and were offended. I also apologize to Mom even though she doesn't know this blog exists. I have added a special note to Mr. Ashcroft and for diverse U.S. security agencies about Mom as well. Don't worry, she will calm down in a few months.

There will be no apologies to the French government or the French people or to their close "allies". Sorry. Non. Basta!